this morning, while thinking of you, waking up early to find myself missing you.. rolled over. and called you. but u didnt pick up.. and these lyrics rang through my head the whole day, because this is just how i feel about you. Give me more lovin' than I've ever had,
Make it all better when I'm feelin' sad,
Tell me that I'm special even when I know I'm not,
Make it feel good when I hurt so bad, Barely gettin' mad,
I'm so glad I found you; I love bein' around you.
You make it easy, it's easy as 1, 2- 1, 2, 3, 4
There's only 1 thing 2 do 3 words 4 you- (I love you) I love you
There's only 1 way 2 say those 3 words and that's what I'll do-(I love you)
I love you. 
But, the day just doesnt end the way you had hoped. And, I wonder. Is this how it will always be? Am i in no right to have friends? Reading through my past diary, i recorded a time when i once spoke to a guy. And you had said , "do you have a crush on him or something? your face is all red" Do you know, I cant talk to a vast majority of males without turning red, stumbling, stuttering or just being plain clumsy. When, back then i had no trouble conversing freely, with confidence. Having the past years with less contact, I'm unsure of myself. Losing my confidence, in everything. Rapidly becomming withdrawn, so much that im comfortable spending weeks at home. not wanting to go out. Scared of going out. Because of what you'll think or say. Is it okay for me to be your doll? Do as you please? It might be pure bliss for you, but, being pushed into my small corner, is suffocating. Having no where to run to, having no one to turn to, when we are in a dispute... makes it certain that I will continue running back to you. But, have you thought of the future? What now. Won't i mature? Realise whats happening is wrong? Because i know its not right, But im still in your arms time and time again. forgiving, forgetting. But if this continues, for now I may still be in your arms. But in the end. When the moment comes. Realising everything that has been lost, realising that it didnt have to be like this, Won't i turn around and regret it. Will I run away? Do i deserve such treatment? But I still find myself running back into your arms.. is it because i have no one else to run to? Was this your plan from the very beginning?
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